Seclusion and Mixing: The Driver, the Workplace, the School

Two settings decide much of a woman’s life outside her home. The first is the moment she might be left alone with a single unrelated man: the driver who takes her to school, the brother in law under the same roof, the doctor behind a closed door. The second is the hours she spends among men who are not her relatives: the classroom, the university, the workplace. The scholars call the first seclusion, and the second mixing, and the questions women ask about them are among the most practical in the books.

The answers below are drawn from Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen’s answers in Part 2 of A Treatise on Hijab & A Compilation of Questions Pertaining to Family Matters, where he takes up the driver, the shared house, the school, and the workplace one by one, and where the ruling turns on his exact words, they are set out in full. The evidence section is supported by Shaykh al-Fawzan’s lecture Advice to the Muslim Woman, in Four Essays on the Obligation of Veiling, where he defines the forbidden privacy and names its newest form in our time. A third book is named where its ruling stands: the Protecting Nobility and Chastity chapter of Shaykh al-Fawzan’s Rulings Pertaining to Muslim Women. Two more books are named where their rulings stand: Islamic Fatawa Regarding Women, for its answers on the telephone and on correspondence, and the tafsir of Shaykh as-Sa’di, for his explanation of the verse on speech.

The Evidence and the Limit

The foundation is the Prophet’s ﷺ prohibition itself. Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen rests his answer about the driver on it: the Prophet ﷺ said, “A man may not be secluded with a woman” (agreed upon), and he informed us that Satan will be the third with them. Seclusion is not measured by its length. In the Shaykh’s words, being alone with an unrelated man is not permissible “even for one minute, because being alone means seclusion.” What the Law forbids is the situation itself: one man and one woman, with no one else present.

Shaykh al-Fawzan defines that situation in his Advice. Islam, he says, “has also prohibited a man from being in privacy with a woman, which means that he is alone with her in an isolated area with no one else present,” since this leads to the occurrence of fitnah.

And the prohibition is agreed on. Shaykh al-Fawzan opens the seclusion section of his Rulings chapter with ash-Shawkaani’s statement of that agreement:

“There is a consensus on the prohibition of seclusion with a woman as has been quoted by al-Haafidh in al-Fath. The reason for the prohibition is what is mentioned in the hadeeth that the third of them is the Shaytaan, and it is his presence that causes them to sin. And as for having a mahram present, then being with the woman is permissible because the occurrence of sin is stopped by his presence.”

He then gives the hadith that sharpens the warning for the people closest to the house. The Prophet ﷺ said, “Beware of entering in the presence of women.” The Companions said, “O Messenger of Allah, what about the male in-laws (i.e. the husband’s male relatives)?” He replied: “The male in-laws are death.” Shaykh al-Fawzan explains why the danger of these family members is greater: “a woman is less restrained from her husband’s male relatives as compared to other males. Her refraining from them is minimal.” In spite of this, he says, caution and awareness must be applied to a husband’s male relatives.

He is equally plain about where this privacy happens. It is not permissible for a non-mahram to enter a house that has no one in it but her, or to be with her in an empty room, and this is the case even if the man alone with her is a doctor. The Prophet ﷺ said: “No man is alone in privacy with a woman except that the Devil is the third party amongst them.” Then the Shaykh names the form this has taken in our times:

“From the new forms of this forbidden type of privacy that has appeared in our times is a woman riding in a car by herself with a driver that is not mahram to her. So he takes her to the school, to the market and even to the masjid! This is not permissible.”

A Muslim woman, he concludes, must beware of this forbidden privacy “regardless if it occurs in a house, a car or in any other place.”

Questions and Answers

May she ride alone with a driver?

Some people were sending their daughters to schools and other places with unrelated drivers, without thinking about the consequences, and the Shaykh was asked for his advice. He divides the matter into two categories. The first is that there are a number of female passengers with the driver, so that no one is alone with him. There is no objection to this, so long as it is within the town, because it is not seclusion, on condition that the driver is trustworthy. If he is untrustworthy, it is not permissible. The second is that he goes with a single woman. This is not permissible, even for one minute, because being alone with him is the seclusion the Messenger of Allah ﷺ forbade, and he informed us that Satan will be the third with them. It is unlawful for the guardians of these females to leave them alone with drivers in this manner, and it is unlawful for the woman herself to get into the car alone with him, without the presence of a mahram, because that is disobedience to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and, consequently, to Allah. He cites His words: “He who obeys the Messenger (Muhammad ﷺ), has indeed obeyed Allah” (Qur’an 4:80), and: “And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a plain error” (Qur’an 33:36). He makes the same point in another answer, about a woman riding to her school or her place of work: it is not permissible for her husband or her guardian to leave her alone in the car with a driver, because this is seclusion.

Shaykh Salih al-Fawzan takes up this same carelessness in Rulings Pertaining to Muslim Women:

“Some women and their guardians have become careless or lax by allowing the woman to be alone in a car with the driver who is not her mahram, even though this is the type of seclusion which is prohibited.”

He gives the reason the car is not the lesser case:

“Her travel in a car with a man is worse then being alone with him in a house, or situations like it. This is because he is able to go with her wherever he wishes, inside or outside the country, with or without her approval.”

And he fixes the boundary of the mahram’s presence itself:

“It is imperative that the male who is her mahram who accompanies her to prevent this seclusion is an adult. It is not sufficient for a child to be with her. Some women think that if a child accompanies them, then seclusion is prevented, although this is an incorrect view.”

He quotes Imaam Nawawi [9/109]:

“If a man and a woman seclude themselves without a third person being present, this is haraam by the agreement of the scholars.”

What if her husband’s brother lives in the same house?

In some societies families live in one house, and the women reveal their faces before their husbands’ relatives because they are under one roof. The Shaykh answers that if members of a family are all living together, it is obligatory for a woman to cover herself in front of men unrelated to her. Her brother in law occupies the same status as a non-related man, concerning being seen and any affiliation. And it is not permissible for her brother in law to be alone with her if her husband leaves the house. This, he says, is a problem many people suffer from, such as when there are two brothers in one house and one of them is married. It is not permissible for the married brother to leave his wife with his brother when he goes out to work or to study, because the Prophet ﷺ said, “A man may not be secluded with a woman” (Muslim), and he also said, “Beware of entering the presence of women.” They said, “O Messenger of Allah! What is your opinion of the in-laws (of the wife)?” He said, “The in-laws are death” (al-Bukhari and Muslim). The Shaykh states his own position without softening it: it is not permissible for a person to leave his wife alone with his brother in one house, no matter what the circumstances, even if the brother is among the most trustworthy, sincere, and righteous of people, because Satan accompanies the son of Adam as closely as the blood flows in his veins, and sexual desire knows no limits.

Which relatives does the hadeeth’s word cover? Shaykh al-Fawzan quotes an-Nawawi’s definition of al-ahmaa [the husband’s male relatives], as Ibn Hajar records it in Fath al-Baari:

“The scholars of Arabic Language have agreed that the ahmaa (plural of hamwu) are the relatives of the husband of the woman such as his father, uncle, brother, nephew, cousin and others like them. And its meaning in the context of the hadeeth is the husband’s male relatives excluding his father and their fathers and his son and their sons, as they are all mahrams for his wife, and it is permissible for them to be alone with her; these are not described as being death.”

What, then, should the brothers do? The Shaykh’s answer is practical. The house can be divided into two parts, one of which will be for the brother when he is alone, having a door that can be locked with a key kept with his brother when he goes out, so that the wife is in one separate section of the house and the brother in the other. If the unmarried brother protests, “Why do you do this? Don’t you trust me?”, the married brother should reply:

“I have done this for your benefit, because Satan accompanies the son of Adam, as closely as the blood that flows in his veins. So, it is possible that he might seduce you and your heart might urge you strongly and desire may overcome your rationality. As a result, you may fall into that which is prohibited. So my doing this is a protection for you. It is for your benefit and also for my benefit.”

If he becomes angry because of this, the Shaykh says, then let him be angry, and do not let it trouble you.

Shaykh al-Fawzan carries the same rule to the servants who work in the house:

“It is not allowable for a man to be alone with a maid who is employed in his house, or for a man’s wife to be alone with a male domestic helper. The problem concerning domestic helpers is a severe one that has afflicted many people today, due to the preoccupation of women with studies and work outside the home. This makes it necessary for the believers, both men and women to be extremely careful, and to take all necessary precautions and not to adopt corrupt customs.”

What happens in necessity, at the doctor or in an emergency?

The prohibition stands, and necessity is handled inside it, not by setting it aside. Asked about a woman visiting a male doctor, the Shaykh answers:

“There is no objection for a woman to visit a male doctor, if no female doctor is available; and it is permissible for her to reveal to the doctor what to be seen of her body. However, there must be a mahram present with her, so that she is not left alone with the doctor, because for a woman to be secluded with an unrelated man is unlawful. This (her being seen and examined by the doctor) is out of necessity and the scholars – may Allah have mercy on them – have said that such matters as these are only permitted because their unlawfulness is known as tahreemul-wasa’il [making unlawful the means to something]; and any matter whose unlawfulness is of this type may be made permissible in cases of need.”

Shaykh al-Fawzan takes the same case up in his chapter, and quotes the former Mufti, Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraheem:

“In any case, seclusion with a woman is haraam Islaamically, even if the man were a doctor who is treating her, from the hadeeth ‘Never is a man left alone with a woman except that the Shaytaan is the third of them.’ So it is imperative that someone be with her, either her husband or one of her male guardians. If none are available, then at least one of her women relations, and if there is no one to accompany her from among those mentioned, and her sickness is dangerous or severe, and it is not possible to delay it, then at the very least, she should be accompanied by a female nurse or someone like her in order to avoid seclusion, which is prohibited.”

Al-Fawzan then names the cases in which people have grown lax:

“Also, it is not permissible for a woman to be alone with a doctor, even if she herself is a female doctor who is a colleague, or a nurse; or a blind teacher with a female student; or an air hostess with a man who is not one of her mahrams. These are areas in which people have become lax in the name of so-called (actually false) ‘civilization’ and blind following of the disbelievers and out of negligence with the laws of the Shari’ah! There is no power and no strength except with Allah, the High, the Mighty.”

The same principle governs the harder case put to him: a neighbour’s wife falls ill while her husband is absent and she has no mahram. There is no doubt, he says, that mixing with women and shaking their hands with unrelated men is not permissible, and being secluded with them is even more strongly prohibited. However, in cases of necessity, the rulings are different, for Allah, Most High, says: “He has explained to you in detail what is forbidden to you, except under compulsion of necessity” (Qur’an 6:119).

He states the case in the first person, as the question was put to him:

“Therefore if I am required by necessity to speak to my neighbour’s wife and enter her home in order to transfer her to the doctor or such, there is no objection to this, as long as I take care to avoid fitnah. I might also have my wife present, in order to avoid being secluded with her.”

May she speak to a man when she needs to?

Yes, and the Shaykh draws the line at seclusion, not at speech. A woman’s speech is not unlawful, nor is it ‘awrah. She may speak to shopkeepers in the market to purchase her needs, so long as she does not speak in a tender, submissive manner that causes fitnah, for Allah said to the Prophet’s ﷺ wives: “Then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery, etc.) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner” (Qur’an 33:32).

Shaykh as-Sa’di explains this verse in his tafsir, and draws out the principle that governs all such speech:

“This indicates that the means come under the same rulings as the ends. Speaking softly and gently is basically permissible, but if it is a means that leads to something prohibited, then it is not allowed. Therefore when addressing men, women should not make their voices soft.”

And he adds that the command does not push her to the other extreme:

“Because Allah forbade women to speak softly, it may be thought that they are instructed to make their voices harsh. In order to ward off this notion, Allah says: (but speak in an appropriate manner) that is, one that is not harsh or rough, just as it is not soft and alluring.”

Allah did not say, “Do not speak to men”; He commanded them not to speak softly. But the condition stands at the end of his answer: “However, it is essential that she not be secluded with him, unless he is a mahram and there is no fitnah.” Speech for a need, in an honourable manner, in the open, is one matter. Being alone with him is another.

Speech also has a beginning, a form at a distance, and a written form, and the books rule on each: the greeting, the telephone, and correspondence.

First, the greeting. The Shaykh rules on it in the same Treatise; his word “salutations” in the book is the salaam greeting:

“A man should not give salutations to a woman, nor should a woman give salutations to a man, because this is a fitnah. That is, unless it is in a telephone call, in which case a woman may greet a man with salutations or a man may give salutations to a woman, according to need, only. Or, if the woman is known to him, such as when he enters his house, and there is a woman with whom he is acquainted and who is acquainted with him present. In that case, he may greet her with salutations of peace, and there is no objection to it. But, as for him giving salutations to a woman who meets him in the market, this is the greatest kind of fitnah, so he should not greet her.”

On the telephone, Shaykh Ibn Jibreen answers in Islamic Fatawa Regarding Women. His proof is this same verse, Qur’an 33:32, quoted above; his ruling is:

“It is not allowed to speak with a non-related woman with any speech that stirs desires, such as in a flirtatious, coquettish or soft manner. This is not allowed whether it is over the telephone or otherwise. There is no harm in casual speech due to some need if it is free from any sort of evil. However, such speech must be restricted to only what is necessary.”

And on writing itself: a man asked about corresponding with a woman who is not his mahram, until the two fell in love. Shaykh Ibn Jibreen answers:

“Such an act is not allowed. It stirs up desires between the two. It stirs impulses in the two to meet and contact each other. Many times, the correspondence turns into soft speech that is a temptation and plants the love for fornication in the heart. I advise anyone who wants what is best for himself to remain away from such correspondence and speech in order to preserve one’s religion and honor.”

May a blind man enter upon women, to teach?

The Shaykh was asked about a blind man entering the presence of women for the purpose of teaching in a school.

“There is no objection to a blind man entering the presence of women in order to teach, because it is permissible for a woman to look at a blind man, so long as no fitnah is entailed.”

The evidence is that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said to Fatimah bint Qais:

“You had better spend this period in the house of Ibn Umm Maktoom, for he is a blind man and you can remove your (outer) garments in his presence”

(Muslim). The Shaykh then gives the limit of this permission:

“He also permitted ’A’ishah to look at the Abyssinians while they were playing in the masjid. But, if it leads to fitnah, such as when a person takes pleasure in hearing a woman’s voice, or he brings her close to his side, takes hold of her hand and such things, then it is not permissible – not because it is unlawful to look at a man, but because it is associated with fitnah.”

May she shake a man’s hand, even through a barrier?

No. Many people had the custom of an unrelated woman shaking hands with them while placing some barrier, such as gloves or the material of her cloak, over her hands, and the Shaykh was asked for the ruling, and whether an elderly woman differs from a young one.

“It is not permissible for a man to shake the hand of an unrelated woman, who is not one of his maharim, whether it is directly or through a barrier, because this is a fitnah.”

When a man touches an unrelated woman’s hand, it is likely to excite feelings of passion, which is why the ahadeeth contain a stern warning against shaking hands with unrelated women.

“There is no difference in this regard between young and elderly women. … Also, people might have a different understanding of who is considered a young woman or an elderly woman, so whom one person considers an old woman, another may see her as young.”

In his Rulings chapter, Shaykh al-Fawzan takes up the handshake last among the means of seclusion, and quotes Shaykh Ibn Baz:

“It is not permissible for women to shake hands with other than their mahrams at all, whether they are young or old and whether the person she greets is a youth or an old man, as this entails the danger of Fitna affecting every person involved. It has been authentically reported about the Messenger of Allah, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him: ‘The hand of the Messenger of Allah, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him never touched the hand of a woman ever. He used to take their pledge of allegiance by word of mouth alone.’ There is no difference between whether she shakes his hand with or without a cover because of the generality of the proofs, and to prevent the means by which fitna can take place.”

Is mixed schooling permissible, for the student or the teacher?

The question described mixed education in some Muslim countries, where male and female students sit side by side on chairs arranged close together in one room. The Shaykh answers:

“It is my opinion that it is not permissible for a person, be it a man or a woman to teach in mixed schools; this is because of the great danger it poses to their chastity, their honor and morality.”

No matter how honourable and moral a person may be, if there is a woman in the chair beside him, especially if she is beautiful and displaying herself, he is unlikely to be safe from fitnah and evil. “Everything that leads to fitnah and evil is unlawful and impermissible.” Then the harder question was put: if there is no alternative to these mixed universities in the country, what should the student do? His answer does not bend. Even then, they should abandon their studies and pursue them in some other country where there is no mixing of the sexes. He states his position plainly: “I do not consider that (i.e. mixed education) is permissible. But another (scholar) might hold a different view.” His words are reported here as he gave them, with his own note that the view is his.

May she work where men work?

The Shaykh was asked directly about the relationship between a man and a woman in the workplace, and whether she may work in a mixed environment with men.

“In my opinion, the mixing of men and women in the workplace is not permissible, whether in the service of the government or in a private establishment, and whether in a government school or in a private school.”

Mixing, he says, causes many great evils, even if it is only the loss of modesty in women or the loss of fear in men, for when men mix with women, men lose their fear. It conflicts with what the Islamic Law requires and with the practice of the righteous early generations. The Prophet ﷺ placed the women in a special area when they went out to the ‘Eid prayer, where they would not mix with the men, and after he delivered the sermon to the men, he descended and went to the women and admonished them. He ﷺ also said:

“The best of rows for men are the first ones and the worst of them are the last ones, while the best of rows for women are the last ones and the worst of them are the first ones”

(Muslim). The only reason, the Shaykh explains, is that the first of the women’s rows are nearer to the men’s rows, and the last are farther away. If this is the case in common acts of worship, when a person performing worship is extremely far from feelings of physical desire, what of situations unrelated to worship, when Satan accompanies the son of Adam as closely as the blood flows in his veins? He appeals to his brothers to avoid mixing and to realise that it is the most harmful thing for men, for the Prophet ﷺ said: “After me [after I die], I have not left any fitnah (affliction) more harmful to men than women” (al-Bukhari and Muslim).

What work is open to her, then?

Asked what fields of work are permissible for a woman without going against her religion, the Shaykh answers by the setting, not by the job title.

“Suitable workplaces for women are those which are exclusive to women, such as girls’ education, regardless of whether it is administrative or actual teaching work, or in her house, sewing clothes for women or the like.”

As for working in jobs that should be exclusive to men, it is not permissible for her to do such jobs, because they require mixing with men, and that is a great fitnah which must be avoided. He closes with the same hadith that runs through these answers, that the Prophet ﷺ left no fitnah more harmful to men than women, and with its consequence: it is vital for a man to steer himself and his family clear of the places of fitnah and their causes, in all circumstances.

Key Lessons

Seclusion is a situation, not a length of time. One man and one unrelated woman alone together is forbidden even for one minute, because Satan is the third with them.
A car does not change the ruling. A group of female passengers with a trustworthy driver, within the town, is not seclusion; one woman alone with the driver is, whether the ride is to school, the market, or the masjid.
Her husband’s brother is not her mahram, and living under one roof does not make him one. He is never left alone with her, whatever his trustworthiness; where brothers share a house, the Shaykh’s remedy is a divided house and a locked door.
Necessity is handled inside the prohibition. The male doctor is visited with a mahram present, and the emergency at a neighbour’s door is met while taking care to avoid fitnah, not by treating seclusion as allowed.
Speech for a need is permitted, in an honourable manner and without softness. The line the Shaykh draws is not at speaking, but at being alone with him.
The school and the workplace are judged by mixing. Teaching or studying where men and women sit side by side is not permissible in the Shaykh’s answers, and the work open to her is the work whose setting is exclusive to women, in girls’ education or in her own house.
Contact follows the same rule. A handshake with an unrelated man is not permitted, directly or through cloth, and a blind man’s teaching is permitted only so long as no fitnah attaches to it.

References

A Treatise on Hijab & A Compilation of Questions Pertaining to Family Matters, Shaykh Muhammad ibn Salih al-Uthaymeen, Darussalam, 2011, translated by Sameh Strauch: Part 2 answers at printed pp. 67-68, 71-72, 80, 81-84, 93 and 99-106.

Four Essays on the Obligation of Veiling, by Ibn Baz, Ibn Uthaymeen, al-Fawzan, and Zayd al-Madkhalee, Al-Ibaanah, Third Edition, 2008: al-Fawzan, Advice to the Muslim Woman, printed pp. 67-68.

Rulings Pertaining to Muslim Women, Shaykh Salih al-Fawzan, Darussalam, Second Edition, June 2003, ISBN 9960-347-29-5, translated by Burhan Loqueman: Protecting Nobility and Chastity chapter, printed pp. 140-145 (the prohibition of seclusion: its consensus, the meaning of the husband’s male relatives, being alone in a car with a non-mahram driver and the condition that the accompanying mahram be an adult, the doctor, domestic helpers, and the handshake, with ash-Shawkaani, an-Nawawi, Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraheem, and Shaykh Ibn Baz quoted in his book).

Islamic Fatawa Regarding Women, compiled by Muhammad bin Abdul-Aziz al-Musnad, Darussalam, First Edition, 1996 (1417H), translated by Jamaal al-Din M. Zarabozo: Q.191, folio 208 (correspondence between the sexes) and Q.193, folio 209 (speaking to women on the telephone), both answers of Shaykh Ibn Jibreen.

Tafsir as-Sa’di, Vol. 8 (Juz’ 22-24): International Islamic Publishing House, English Edition 1, 2018 (on Qur’an 33:32, printed pp. 23-24).

In two passages quoted on this page, Shaykh al-Fawzan’s Rulings prints the divine name in its long spelling; on this page it is written “Allah”, by the site’s spelling decision, the rest exactly as printed.