Honoring one’s parents is among the greatest obligations in Islam. The Qur’an repeatedly connects the right of parents with the right of Allah, demonstrating the immense status parents hold in the life of a Muslim. Shaykh Abdur-Razzaq ibn Abdil Muhsin al-Abbad al-Badr explains that this connection appears in numerous places in the Qur’an, showing the tremendous importance of honoring parents and warning against treating them harshly.
This page rests on his treatise Interacting with Non-Muslim Parents: A Guide for the New Muslim.
Allah says:
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents.”
(Surah al-Isra 17:23)
Allah also says:
“Worship Allah and join none with Him in worship, and do good to parents.”
(Surah an-Nisa 4:36)
And He says:
“Say (O Muhammad): Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited you from: Join not anything in worship with Him; be good and dutiful to your parents.”
(Surah al-An‘am 6:151)
These verses clearly establish the great right of the parents and the obligation of honoring them.
Surah al-Isra 17:23, Surah an-Nisa 4:36, and Surah Luqman 31:14 also appear on this site’s page Being Dutiful to Parents and Upholding the Ties of Kinship in a different translation and at fuller length, where they answer the general duty of dutifulness to parents.
However, a particular question arises for those who newly accept Islam: How should a Muslim interact with parents who are not Muslims? The Qur’an provides clear guidance for this situation so that the believer’s conduct is based upon knowledge and the religion of Allah, rather than personal assumptions that may lead to mistakes or poor treatment of parents.
The Obligation of Kindness to Parents
Allah commands kindness toward parents in every circumstance. He says:
“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents.”
(Surah Luqman 31:14)
The Shaykh explains that the word “goodness” includes every form of good treatment, both in speech and action. This includes:
- speaking to parents with respectful and gentle words
- addressing them with speech appropriate to their status
- serving them
- assisting them
- fulfilling their needs
This command encompasses every path of goodness and every form of kindness toward parents.
A Muslim therefore interacts with his parents with kindness, respect, and service.
Shaykh ‘Abdur-Rahman ibn Nasir as-Sa’di explains what this enjoined kindness includes, in his tafsir of Surah al-Ankabut:
That is, We have enjoined and instructed man to show kindness to his parents, by honouring them and treating them kindly in word and deed, which he must do constantly, and not disobey them or mistreat them in word or deed.
The Qur’anic Guidance When Parents Are Not Muslim
Allah clarifies the relationship between a believing child and non-Muslim parents in Surah al-Ankabut:
“And We have enjoined on man goodness to parents, but if they strive to make you join with Me (in worship) anything (as a partner) of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Unto Me is your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.”
(Surah al-Ankabut 29:8)
This verse begins by commanding kindness to parents. However, it also addresses a situation in which parents attempt to pressure their child into disbelief or polytheism.
The phrase “if they strive” refers to parents exerting strong effort to persuade their child to abandon Islam and return to polytheism.
Allah describes polytheism as something “of which you have no knowledge.” This description indicates that there is no true knowledge or evidence that can justify shirk. Polytheism is falsehood and misguidance without proof.
Allah similarly says:
“And whoever invokes besides Allah another deity for which he has no proof…”
(Surah al-Mu’minun 23:117)
This demonstrates that there is never any valid evidence for associating partners with Allah.
A Precise Qur’anic Principle: Do Not Obey Them in Shirk
Allah says:
“Then obey them not.”
(Surah al-Ankabut 29:8)
The Shaykh explains an important linguistic point in this verse. Allah did not say “disobey them.” Instead, He said “do not obey them.”
This distinction teaches that:
- the Muslim does not obey them in matters of disbelief or shirk
- but the Muslim continues to treat them with kindness and respect
Thus the believer refuses their command to commit shirk while still honoring them and serving them in matters of kindness.
The Shaykh states this positive half of the rule in his own words: “But if they request kindness or assistance from him then it is upon him to obey them in that.”
This principle is further clarified in Surah Luqman:
“But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly.”
(Surah Luqman 31:15)
Therefore, the Muslim must maintain good companionship with parents in this world, even if they are not Muslims.
Shaykh as-Sa’di states the order of these two duties in his explanation of the same verse:
So honour your parents and give precedence to obeying them, but do not give it precedence over obedience to Allah and His Messenger ﷺ, for that takes precedence over all things.
Remembering the Parents’ Sacrifices
The Shaykh explains that part of good companionship includes remembering the sacrifices of one’s parents. The believer should not forget:
- the compassion of the mother
- the money spent by the father
- their care and upbringing
These past acts of kindness should motivate the Muslim to treat parents with gratitude and kindness.
Patience Upon Faith
The believer is reminded that ultimate accountability belongs to Allah. Allah says:
“Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.”
(Surah Luqman 31:15)
This verse contains both encouragement and warning. It encourages the believer who remains patient upon faith and treats parents well, and it warns those who persist in disbelief.
The one who remains firm upon Tawheed and righteousness will have a praiseworthy outcome.
The Shaykh quotes Allah’s promise to those who believe and do righteous deeds: “And those who believe and do righteous deeds – We will surely admit them among the righteous [into Paradise]” (Surah al-Ankabut 29:9).
The Example of Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas and His Mother
Ibn Kathir, in his explanation of this verse in Surah Luqman, describes what behaving kindly means when parents strive to turn their child back to their religion:
if they try hard to make you follow them in their religion, then do not accept that from them, but do not let that stop you from behaving with them in the world kindly, i.e. treating them with respect.
He also transmits the report recorded by at-Tabarani in Al-‘Ishrah, of Sa’d bin Malik, who said that this verse was revealed concerning him:
At-Tabarani recorded in Al-‘Ishrah that Sa’d bin Malik said, ‘This Ayah, (But if they strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not;) was revealed concerning me. I was a man who honored his mother, but when I became Muslim, she said: “O Sa’d! What is this new thing I see you doing Leave this religion of yours, or I will not eat or drink until I die, and people will say: Shame on you, for what you have done to me, and they will say that you have killed your mother.” I said, “Do not do that, O mother, for I will not give up this religion of mine for anything.” She stayed without eating for one day and one night, and she became exhausted; then she stayed for another day and night without eating, and she became utterly exhausted. When I saw that, I said: “O my mother, by Allah, even if you had one hundred souls and they were to depart one by one, I would not give up this religion of mine for anything, so if you want to, eat, and if you want to, do not eat.” So she ate.’
Sa’d would not give up his religion for anything, and the report introduces him as a man who honored his mother: firmness upon Islam and honor toward a parent stood together in him.
The Prophet’s ﷺ Answer to Asma: Maintain Relations with Your Mother
The Prophet ﷺ answered this question directly when Asma bint Abi Bakr asked him about her mother, who was still a polytheist:
Asma’ bint Abu Bakr As-Siddiq said: My mother came to me while she was still a polytheist, so I asked Messenger of Allah ﷺ, ‘My mother, who is ill-disposed to Islam, has come to visit me. Shall I maintain relations with her?’ He ﷺ replied, ‘Yes, maintain relations with your mother.’ [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
(Sharh Riyaad as-Saaliheen, Vol. 3, printed p. 218)
Ibn Uthaymeen explains this hadeeth:
There is evidence in this that a person should maintain relations with his relatives, even if they are not upon Islam because they have the right of kinship.
That is, do not obey your parents if they command you and put pressure on you to associate anything with Allah. This is because there is no obedience to the creature in disobedience to the Creator. Nonetheless, behave with them in the world kindly; that is, you should give them from the world what is obligatory for them from ties of kinship, even if they are disbelievers or sinners because they have a right of kinship.
And this hadeeth aims at what the verse points to, and that the Prophet ﷺ commanded Asmaa bint Abee Bakr (may Allah have mercy on her and her father) to maintain relations with her mother although she was a disbeliever.
So maintaining relations with a parent remains, even when the parent is not upon Islam, because the right of kinship remains.
Calling Parents to Islam with Kindness
The Muslim child should strive to guide his parents to Islam with patience and wisdom. This should be done through:
- gentle speech
- good manners
- kind interaction
The believer should also make sincere supplication for the guidance of their parents.
The Shaykh advises that a Muslim should frequently supplicate for their parents, including during:
- night prayer
- prostration in the obligatory prayers
- prostration in the voluntary prayers
Thus the believer combines dawah and dua, inviting parents to Islam while asking Allah to guide them.
The Shaykh writes in his treatise: “Good interaction with the parents and taking into account good manners with them, softness in dealing with them, and being a good companion with them as much as possible is from the reasons for the parents to be guided to Islam.”
The Example of Abu Hurayrah and His Mother
The Shaykh presents the story of Abu Hurayrah as a powerful example for Muslims whose parents are not believers.
The Shaykh says: “The story is in Sahih Muslim, and it is a tremendously great story.” Abu Hurayrah said:
“I invited my mother—who was a polytheist—to Islam. I invited her one day and she said to me something about the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him, which I hated. I came to the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him weeping and said: O Messenger of Allah, I invited my mother to Islam but she did not accept (my invitation). I invited her today but she said to me something which I did not like. Supplicate Allah that He may guide the mother of Abu Huraira to Islam.
Thereupon the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him said: O Allah, guide the mother of Abu Huraira. I came out quite pleased with the supplication of the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him and when I came near the door it was closed from within. My mother heard the noise of my footsteps and she said: Abu Huraira, just wait, and I heard the noise of falling of water. She took a bath and put on the shirt and quickly covered her head with a headdress and opened the door and then said: Abu Huraira, I bear witness that nothing has the right to be worshipped except for Allah and Muhammad is His slave and His Messenger.
He (Abu Huraira) said: I went back to the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him and (this time) I was shedding the tears of joy. I said: O Messenger of Allah, be happy, for Allah has responded to your supplication and He has guided the mother of Abu Huraira. He (the Prophet) praised Allah, and glorified Him and uttered good words. I said: O Messenger of Allah, supplicate to Allah so that He may instil love of me and that of my mother into the believing servants and let our hearts be filled with their love, whereupon Allah’s Messenger peace be upon him said: O Allah, let there be love of these servants of yours, i. e. Abu Huraira and his mother, in the hearts of the believing servants and let their hearts be filled with the love of the believing servants. (Abu Huraira said: This prayer) was so well granted by Allah that no believer was ever born who heard of me and who saw me except that he loved me.”
(Collected by Muslim, no. 2491.)
This story illustrates the importance of patience, supplication, and kindness when calling family members to Islam, following Abu Hurayrah’s example with his mother and the supplication the Prophet ﷺ made for her.
A Common Mistake Among New Muslims
The Shaykh warns about a mistake that some new Muslims make. After accepting Islam, some people:
- distance themselves from their parents
- stop visiting them
- avoid showing kindness
This behavior is incorrect.
Instead, the Muslim should continue to show kindness and good companionship to their parents while remaining firm upon Tawheed.
There is no contradiction between these two obligations:
- refusing their call to shirk
- maintaining kindness and good treatment toward them
Studying the Relevant Qur’anic Verses
The Shaykh encourages Muslims who face this situation to carefully study the Qur’anic passages that discuss this matter, particularly:
- Surah Luqman
- Surah al-Ankabut
Along with the explanations of scholars in books of tafsir. These verses contain the guidance necessary to properly interact with non-Muslim parents while remaining faithful to Islam.
Key Lessons
Islam gives clear and balanced guidance for the Muslim whose parents are not believers. The two duties stand together: firmness upon Tawheed, and kindness to parents in this world.
- Remain firm upon Tawheed and refuse any call to polytheism or disbelief, for there is no obedience to parents in shirk.
- Continue to treat parents with kindness, compassion, and respect, and keep good companionship with them in this world.
- Remember their sacrifices, the compassion of the mother and the money spent by the father, and let that move you to gratitude and kindness.
- Call them to Islam with gentle speech, good manners, and kind interaction, and do not distance yourself from them.
- Supplicate for their guidance often, in the night prayer and in prostration in the obligatory and voluntary prayers, combining dawah and dua as Abu Hurayrah did.
Through patience, good character, gentle invitation to Islam, and sincere supplication, the Muslim upholds faith in Allah while honoring the bonds of family, and may become a means for his parents to be guided to the truth.
And Allah knows best.
References
Interacting with Non-Muslim Parents: A Guide for the New Muslim: Shaykh Abdur-Razzaq ibn Abdil Muhsin al-Abbad al-Badr, translated by Rasheed ibn Estes Barbee, MTWS Publishing, First Edition, March 2014 (printed pp. 3-10).
Tafsir as-Sa’di: Shaykh ‘Abdur-Rahman ibn Nasir as-Sa’di, Vol. 7 (on Soorah al-‘Ankabut 29:8, printed p. 247).
Tafsir Ibn Kathir (Abridged): on Soorah Luqman 31:15 (combined file, PDF pp. 3926-3927).
Sharh Riyaad as-Saaliheen: Shaykh Muhammad ibn Salih al-‘Uthaymeen, Vol. 3, Hadeeth 325 and its commentary (printed pp. 218-220).
Further Reading
- Being Dutiful to Parents and Upholding the Ties of Kinship: dutifulness to parents as one of the greatest deeds
- Can Muslims Be Friends with Non-Muslims?: kindness and loyalty toward non-Muslims, and where the line falls
- The Rights of Children Upon Their Parents in Islam: the other direction of the family bond, what parents owe children
Verified on 2026-10-26 against the books listed above.