Few questions are asked more often, and few are answered more carelessly, than this one. Some answer it as if Islam commanded coldness toward everyone outside it. Others answer it as if the Qur’an placed no limit on closeness at all. The books held for this site, read in their own words, teach neither. They draw a line, and they draw it carefully: between kind and just dealing with people, which is not forbidden, and loyalty of the heart, which is.
That loyalty has a name in the books: wala’ [loyalty and allegiance of the heart]. The verses use the word awliya’ for the people taken in that loyalty, and the translation renders it “allies”. This page gathers what the two tafsir [explanations of the Qur’an] held here say on both sides of that line, in the books’ own words, so the reader can see the whole teaching at once instead of half of it.
Two honesty notes before the passages. The case of non-Muslim parents is answered in full on its own page on this site, so it is only pointed to here. And the verse about peoples and tribes knowing one another (49:13) is quoted and explained on the Racism page, so it is not repeated here.
Kindness and Justice Toward Those Who Do Not Fight
The clearest passage stands in Surah al-Mumtahanah. As-Sa’di explains that when the verses urging enmity toward the disbelievers were revealed, the believers complied so completely that they held back from upholding ties with some of their polytheist [people who associate others with Allah in worship] relatives, fearing that kindness itself had been forbidden. Allah then told them it had not:
“Allah does not forbid you to deal kindly and justly with those who do not fight you because of your religion or drive you out of your homes, for verily Allah loves those who are just.” (60:8)
As-Sa’di explains:
“That is, Allah does not forbid you to show kindness, uphold ties, and to be fair and just towards the polytheists among your relatives and others, if they are not involved in waging war against you or driving you out of your homes. So there is no blame on you if you uphold ties with them, because there are no reservations about upholding ties with them in this case, and doing so will not lead to bad consequences.”
Ibn Kathir, in the other tafsir held here, says the same in his own words: “Therefore, Allah does not forbid you from being kind to the disbelievers who do not fight you because of the religion, such as women and weak disbelievers.” He explains the verse’s words the same way: “(to deal kindly) to be gentle with them”, and “(and justly with those) to be fair with them”.
Justice, in these books, is owed even where there is a real grievance. Explaining words spoken about people who had once barred the Muslims from the Sacred Mosque, as-Sa’di writes: “One must adhere to the command of Allah and follow the path of justice, even when one has been wronged or mistreated or subjected to aggression.”
The Line the Books Draw: Allies, Not Kindness
The very next verse draws the other side of the line, and it is drawn around a different word. What it forbids is not kindness. It is taking people as allies:
“Allah only forbids you to take as allies those who fight you because of your religion, drive you out of your homes or help others in driving you out; whoever takes them as allies, it is they who are the wrongdoers.” (60:9)
As-Sa’di’s explanation of that verse is the hinge of this whole page, because he sets the forbidden thing and the permitted thing side by side:
“Allah forbids you to (take them as allies) by showing friendship and support to them in word and deed. As for your acts of kindness and generosity that do not come under the heading of taking the polytheists as allies, Allah does not forbid you to do that. Rather that comes under the general heading of the command to show kindness to relatives, other humans and other creatures.”
“(whoever takes them as allies, it is they who are the wrongdoers) and the degree of wrongdoing is connected to the level of allegiance shown. If it is complete allegiance, then it is disbelief that puts one beyond the pale of Islam; anything less than that is still a serious matter.”
Beyond the pale of Islam means outside Islam altogether. Hold onto the distinction itself: the same scholar who forbids the alliance in the strongest words refuses to let kindness and generosity be counted inside it.
What Loyalty of the Heart Means
What, then, is the alliance that is forbidden? The translation’s own note on the word, printed at another of these verses, gives its range: “The word awliya’, translated here as ‘allies’, may also mean protectors, supporters, close friends, and so on.” The verses that use it are about where a person’s love, loyalty and support are placed:
“O you who believe, do not take the Jews and Christians as allies; for they are allies of one another. Whoever among you takes them as allies is indeed one of them. Verily Allah does not guide the wrongdoing people.” (5:51)
As-Sa’di explains the verse by the situation the passage itself describes, a people standing united against the believers, and he warns that the alliance grows by degrees:
“Here Allah (ﷻ) instructs His believing slaves, when He describes to them the situation of the Jews and the Christians, and their displeasing attributes, that they should not take them as allies, for they are allies of one another, who support one another and are united against others. You should not take them as allies, for in fact they are enemies who do not care what befalls you. Rather they would not spare any effort to mislead you. Hence no one takes them as allies except one who is like them. For this reason, Allah says: (Whoever among you takes them as allies is indeed one of them), because taking them as allies, in a complete sense, dictates joining them in their religion, and taking them as allies on a small scale could lead to taking them as allies on a large scale, then the individual would get closer to them, step-by-step, until he becomes one of them.”
The same command is given where no particular people are named at all. Allah addresses the believers directly: “O you who believe, do not take the disbelievers as allies rather than the believers. Do you want to give Allah a clear case against you?” (4:144)
“Let not the believers take for allies disbelievers instead of believers, for anyone who does that has no connection with Allah at all, except when you need to protect yourselves from them. Allah admonishes you to fear Him, for to Allah is the return [of all].” (3:28)
As-Sa’di opens his explanation of that verse: “Here Allah forbids the believers to take the disbelievers as allies, close friends or supporters, seeking their help in any matter pertaining to the Muslims.” He draws the practical line firmly: “This verse indicates that we should keep our distance from the disbelievers, not mix with them, befriend them, incline towards them or trust them.” The one exception the verse itself carries is for a believer protecting his life, and as-Sa’di explains it as outward protection only: “when you fear for your lives, then it is permissible to do that which will protect you by saying or making a show of that which will bring about protection.”
The command reaches even into the family, where closeness is most natural:
“O you who believe, do not take as allies your fathers and brothers, if they prefer disbelief to faith; whoever among you takes them as allies, such are wrongdoers.” (9:23)
The verse that follows lists what may not be loved more: fathers, sons, brothers, spouses, clan, wealth a person has earned, trade he fears will not be sold, and dwellings he delights in, if any of them are dearer to him than Allah and His Messenger ﷺ (9:24). Explaining these verses, as-Sa’di gives the definition this page has been building toward:
“The basis of alliance is love and support; by taking them as allies, this implies giving precedence to obeying them over obedience to Allah and giving precedence to loving them over loving Allah and His Messenger ﷺ. The reason why they are wrongdoers is that love of Allah and His Messenger ﷺ should be given precedence over love of all others, and everything else should be secondary to them.”
And the same truth is stated as a mark of faith itself:
“You will not find any people who believe in Allah and the Last Day having close ties with those who oppose Allah and His Messenger, even if they be their fathers, their sons, their brothers or their kindred.” (58:22)
As-Sa’di comments:
“(You will not find any people who believe in Allah and the Last Day having close ties with those who oppose Allah and His Messenger) that is, faith and close ties with the disbelievers cannot coexist. A person cannot truly be a believer in Allah and the Last Day unless he acts in accordance with what faith dictates and requires, of loving and taking as allies those who have faith, and resenting and opposing those who do not have faith, even if they are the closest of people to him.”
Parents Stand on Their Own Page
One case stands apart in the books, and on this site: parents. In the very passage quoted above, as-Sa’di himself points to the verse about polytheist parents whose child is Muslim (Luqman 31: 15): the child does not obey them in disbelief, yet keeps company with them in this world kindly. That case, with its own book and its own evidence, is answered in full on this site’s page on how Muslims should treat non-Muslim parents, linked below, and it is not repeated here.
The Enmity Is Tied to Disbelief
One thing more, because it keeps the whole teaching in its own balance. The enmity these verses command is tied, in as-Sa’di’s words, to the disbelief itself: it is “applicable so long as they persist in their polytheism and disbelief”, and “if they become believers, then the ruling is connected to the reason for it, and in that case love that is based on faith should prevail.” The verse just before the kindness verse holds that door open:
“It may be that Allah will bring about friendship between you and those of them whom you [currently] consider enemies. For Allah has power [over all things], and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (60:7)
Yesterday’s enemy who believes is today’s brother in faith. The books do not let a reader turn a ruling about loyalty into a lasting hatred of persons.
So, Can Muslims Be Friends with Non-Muslims?
Gathered from the passages above, in the books’ own distinction:
- Kindness, gentleness, fairness and upholding ties toward non-Muslims who do not fight the Muslims are not forbidden. The books place them under the command to show kindness to relatives, other humans and other creatures.
- Justice is owed even to people who have wronged the Muslims. Hatred is no licence to transgress against anyone.
- What is forbidden is taking disbelievers as allies: friendship and support in word and deed, and the love and loyalty of the heart placed with them rather than with Allah, His Messenger ﷺ and the believers.
- That loyalty is measured by degrees. Complete allegiance is disbelief itself; anything less than that is still a serious matter.
- Love of Allah and His Messenger ﷺ comes before every other love, family included.
- Parents stand apart in dealing: no obedience in disbelief, and kind companionship in this world.
- The enmity is tied to disbelief, not to the person forever. The one who believes is met with the love that is based on faith.
I have gathered these passages because the question deserves better than the two careless answers. What is set out above is what the books say, in their words; anyone who wants to go further should return to the books themselves, and the references below show where each passage stands.
References
Tafsir as-Sa’di, Vol. 1 (Juz’ 1-3): International Islamic Publishing House, English Edition 1, 2018 (Surah Aal ‘Imran 3:28).
Tafsir as-Sa’di, Vol. 2 (Juz’ 4-6): International Islamic Publishing House, English Edition 1, 2018 (Surah an-Nisa 4:144; Surah al-Ma’idah 5:2, 5:51).
Tafsir as-Sa’di, Vol. 4 (Juz’ 10-12): International Islamic Publishing House, English Edition 1, 2018 (Surah at-Tawbah 9:23-24).
Tafsir as-Sa’di, Vol. 10 (Juz’ 28-30): International Islamic Publishing House, English Edition 1, 2018 (Surah al-Mujadilah 58:22; Surah al-Mumtahanah 60:7-9).
Abridged Tafsir Ibn Kathir: Darussalam, Second Edition, October 2003 (Surah al-Mumtahanah 60:8).
Further Reading
- Does Islam Promote Violence?: the verses of war and peace in their context, including what Ibn Kathir says around this same passage.
- How Muslims Should Treat Non-Muslim Parents: the parents’ case answered in full from its own book.
- Racism in Islam: what the Qur’an teaches about peoples and tribes (49:13).
- What Is Sharia?: the wider frame of the law these verses stand inside.
Verified on 2026-10-24 against the books listed above.